笑话: 领导的英语翻译

Chinese jokes

Chinoiseries2014's avatarChinoiseries 《汉瀚》[中/英/日/韩/法]

1. 邓小平讲英语

八十年代,鄧小平訪美,召開記者招待會,正好翻譯不在,美國老記者想考考鄧小平的英語水平,便說:請問美國第一任總統叫什麼名字?
鄧小平心想按國人的習俗,認為他們在問貴姓,便操著四川口音說:我姓鄧(Washington)。
美國老記者大吃一驚,但轉念一想,這個問題太簡單了,便又說:
請問,您夫人和孩子到美國都幹了些什麼?

鄧小平又想問完姓,該問名了吧,就回答說:小平(shopping)
老記者們連忙追問:那麼他們是用什麼交通工具?
鄧小平又按中國習俗,認為他們在問年齡,就回答:八十(bus)。
老記者譁然,繼續問道:那麼臺灣下一任總統會是誰?

鄧小平等來等去,翻譯還沒有來,便回答說﹕你等會兒(李登輝)。
老記者再次譁然,這麼敏感的政治問題也回答得如此輕鬆?
便又問:那李登輝後邊呢?
鄧小平有些不耐煩,說:隨便(水扁)。

老記們看看翻譯快要來了,抓緊時間問最後一個問題:您覺得21 世紀初世界面臨的最大問題是什麼?
鄧小平極其不耐煩,心想這些美國記者們怎麼這麼不識趣,沒完沒了的問個不停。沉下臉反問道:啥事(SARS)?
二十多年後,美國記者感慨說:鄧小平真是一代偉人,料事如神!

2. 老毛的英语翻译

尼克逊訪华见毛主席。
毛先介绍夫人江青.
尼对毛说: “你太太真美丽。”
毛谦虚地回答说: “哪里, 哪里。”
美国的中文翻译: 
“Where, which part ?”
尼不好意思说。

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小確幸

Chinoiseries2014's avatarChinoiseries 《汉瀚》[中/英/日/韩/法]

英文:a little happiness (n.)

說明:小確幸指的是「小而確實的幸福」。台灣這句流行語來自日本小說家村上春樹的插畫散文集「尋找漩渦貓的方法」和「蘭格漢斯島的午後」。

《亚洲周刊》邱立本:

中国青年积极进取, 香港青年多是宅男, 台湾青年追求小”确幸”胸无大志

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Quora: What works the best when learning a new language?

Chinoiseries2014's avatarChinoiseries 《汉瀚》[中/英/日/韩/法]

Question on @Quora: What works the best when learning a new language?

http://qr.ae/daccn

Learning a language is a life-long journey. The founding father of Singapore, the late LKY, was still learning his last Chinese lesson the night before admitting to hospital in February 2015. He passed away on 23 March at age 91. Like Bill Gates, both of them have only ONE regret in life – mastering Chinese language !

One can never claim to be an expert even in his mother tongue.

Below is my own learning journey with 5 languages – 3 spoken & written (Chinese as mother tongue, English as 2nd language in secondary & high schools, French in university), 2 at only elementary level (Japanese and Korean):

1. Chinese: as a child we learn how to speak before how to write Chinese characters. This is also the helpful tip for foreigners who want to learn…

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我唱北京 “I Sing Beijing”

See the Ang Mohs learn to sing Chinese operas in just 3 months …

Chinoiseries2014's avatarChinoiseries 《汉瀚》[中/英/日/韩/法]

Music is “trans”-language barrier. Just like Chinese singers can sing Italian Opera, now the Americans can sing Chinese songs — neither of them know the meaning of the words in Italian or Chinese.

https://youtu.be/nbW0eiz1svQ

China Mamamia Audition — 9 min 30 sec

What a surprise, she sings well and actually memorised all her English lyrics without understanding its meaning…

She sang English songs but she does not understand the text (^o^)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_HhRbEibl0oakZ6M3JGUXM3Rms/view?usp=sharing

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笑话名字: 馬騳驫

Chinoiseries2014's avatarChinoiseries 《汉瀚》[中/英/日/韩/法]

一位學生名字叫"馬騳驫"

開學點名了,班主任不知怎麼唸,所以每當上課點名的時候,總愛說:馬XX到了沒⋯?

語文課上課了,語文老師有點文學素養點名道:萬馬奔騰到了沒?

接下來體育課,體育老師怕麻煩,直接點名道:一群馬到了沒?

歷史老師對這個名字很感冒,於是㸃名道:馬家的五馬分屍來了沒有?

數學老師最直接:馬6到了沒?

給在忙碌工作中的您:笑一笑!生活變得更美好。

正確讀音為:maˇ  騳dú 驫 biāo

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Jackie Chan Famous “Duang” Song (With Lyrics and English Translation)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ModL1vD1A7U

Recently, there is a famous song remix based on a shampoo advertisement by Jackie Chan, introducing the famous word “Duang”. I have posted the Chinese Lyrics and the English Translation below!

Chinese Lyrics: (Source: http://www.yue365.com/getgeci/12745/353220.shtml)
English Translation by ChineseTuition88
我的洗发水
My Shampoo
曲子:我的滑板鞋
Music: My Skate Shoes
当我第一次知道要拍洗头水广告的时候其实我是 是拒绝
When I was approached to do a shampoo advertisement, actually I declined
我跟导演讲 我拒绝因为其实我根本没有 头 发
I told the director, I decline, because actually I don’t have any hair!
导演跟我讲 拍完加特技 头发很黑 很亮 很柔
The director said that he would add special effects to make my hair black, shiny and soft.
加了一个月 特技 之后呢 头发DUANG~
After one month of adding special effects, my hair DUANG~
后来我经过也知道他们是 是假的 是化学成分
Afterwards, I knew that it was fake, has chemicals
我现在呢每天还在 加特技 加了特技
I am still adding special effects everyday
头发DUANG~DUANG~DUANG~
My hair DUANG~ DUANG~ DUANG~
观众用完之后 不加特技 头发都~没有
After the audience used the shampoo, they don’t add special effects, they don’t even have hair
我的头发乌黑浓密 因为我 加特技
My hair is black and thick because I add special effects.
~我用完之后 根本没有这种头发
After I used the shampoo, there isn’t this type of hair at all.
这个就是 我用的 洗发液
This is my shampoo.
我的洗头水 特技特技加特技
My shampoo, special effects upon special effects
拍的时候 根本没有头发 假的假的
When I filmed the ad, I didn’t have hair, it is fake.
我的头发 是假的
My hair is fake.
~没有那种 中药的成分 拒绝中药 拒绝头发
There is no such Chinese medicine, I reject Chinese medicine, I reject hair.
观众用完之后 不能骂我 因为其实我 根本没有头发
After viewers use the shampoo, they can’t scold me, because actually, I don’t have any hair!
很黑 很亮 很黑 很亮 很黑很黑是假的
Very black, very shiny ,very black, very shiny, it is all fake.
是头发的特技 是化学的成分
It is hair’s special effects, it is chemical composition.
是特技的头发 脱发 脱发 脱发 脱发
It is special effect hair, drop hair, drop hair.
~加了特技之后呢 起码我的头发DUANG~
After adding special effects, at least my hair DUANG~
现在呢 我每天还在 加 特 技
Now, everyday I am still adding special effects.
我还给我成家班 加 特 技
I let my colleagues add special effect.
你们用完的时候 是拒 绝 的
After you use, it is rejected.
我用完之后 头发 DUANG~DUANG~DUANG~
After I use, my hair DUANG~ DUANG~ DUANG~
很黑很亮 很黑很亮 很黑很黑是假的
Very black, very shiny ,very black, very shiny, it is all fake.
是头发的特技
It is hair’s special effects.
脱发 脱发 你拍一个广告
Drop hair, drop hair, you film an ad.
特技 特技 是头发的特技 是头发的特技
Special effects, it is hair’s special effects.
很黑 很亮 很黑 很亮 很黑很黑
Very black, very shiny, very black, very shiny
是假的 是头发的特技
It is fake, it is hair’s special effects.
是化学的成分 是特技的头发
It is chemical composition, it is special effects’ hair.
乌黑浓密 在拍的时候 DAUNG~ DUANG~
Shiny and thick, when I film, DUANG~ DUANG~


As you can see, the lyrics are pretty nonsensical, but that is its main appeal, for humor!

Hope you enjoy the laugh!

This is the original ad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gs-wUXRV3qE

Lee Kuan Yew’s Chinese Tutor

Source: http://www.straitstimes.com/news/singapore/more-singapore-stories/story/remembering-lee-kuan-yew-his-chinese-tutor-he-was-gentle

Read more about late Mr Lee Kuan Yew’s lifelong desire to master the Chinese language, and how he was a ‘gentle lion’ to his Chinese tutor.

Koh Hock Kiat, 54, is the former director of the Confucius Institute at the Nanyang Technological University

I still remember clearly the first Chinese lesson I conducted for Mr Lee Kuan Yew.

It was a rainy day in 2006. Even though I was well-prepared, I was slightly nervous as I stepped into the Istana to make my way to his office, where the lesson was to be held.

Mr Lee, after all, was Singapore’s founding father. Many viewed him as a stern man, not to be crossed, a “shi zi” (lion), as some would say in Chinese.

– See more at: http://www.straitstimes.com/news/singapore/more-singapore-stories/story/remembering-lee-kuan-yew-his-chinese-tutor-he-was-gentle#sthash.70paTmfc.dpuf